If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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