But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Mom said you looked used
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
