I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
