If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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