; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
