He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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