in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Randomize
