i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
