My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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