Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Randomize
