so explain again why im purple
no
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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