Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
