Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
