Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
