We won't sleep together?
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
