Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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