On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
