Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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