the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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