if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
