if you like me you must not know who I am
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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