She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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