I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
