very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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