What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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