the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
