Sponge bath it is.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
