I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
