okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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