its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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