meet me or not, i'm out of control
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
