Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
