i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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