Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I would fuck him just for his dog
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
