hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
