every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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