So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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