why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
