So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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