I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
