I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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