instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
