im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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