ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
