Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
