No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I think my nap took me to another dimension
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
