hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
