Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
