i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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