He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
