I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
