let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
